Vehicle Registration with Olivia Rodrigo, Acting with Kamala Harris, and Other New MasterClass Sessions – The New Yorker
MasterClass allows you to learn from inspiring artists, iconic leaders, and rich people of all walks of life. Here is our latest suite of unconventional classes that you won’t find anywhere else!
Vehicle Registration, with Olivia Rodrigo
Just like you, we at MasterClass Holdings Company wish that our visits to the D.M.V. weren’t so exhausting. Good thing Olivia Rodrigo, a national hero, has the solution.
“Drivers license” took your Spotify Wrapped by storm! Now check out Ms. Rodrigo’s catalogue of other automobile-focussed songs, like her banger “vehicle registration,” with its catchy chorus on insurance claims.
Critics say “smog check” is revolutionizing the way that teens are getting smog checks. And you won’t be able to stop humming “oil change,” featuring Ty Dolla $ign, the next time you’re at an AutoZone.
Reckless Optimism, with the Teletubbies Sun Baby
Is the casting of Uncle Phil in the “Fresh Prince” reboot causing you physical pain? Is the general disregard for equity in American social systems killing your vibe? Does the war in Ukraine have your heart in agony?
Let the perpetually thrilled and always idealistic two-year-old Sun Baby help you! This star from the hit syndicated children’s show “Teletubbies” will train you to stay delusionally positive so that you’ll never have to process anything ever again and can instead enjoy life in a simulated reality of your making.
Acting, with Kamala Harris
In this course, you’ll master a pantomime of seeming empathetic and invested in other people’s well-being.
A whole week will be dedicated to employing different types of jargon to swiftly get across a message that essentially means absolutely nothing but will nevertheless be so complex and lengthy and pseudo-intellectual and vague that the listener will have no choice but to say, “Brava!”
Creative Writing, with Any Fortune 500 C.E.O.’s Accountant
Creativity has no limits, and neither do these entrepreneurs’ bank accounts. So allow the accountants of Amazon and Apple to show you what real creativity is.
Often called the Banksys of financial fudging and the van Goghs of offshoring pre-tax income to foreign countries, these middle-aged white men will nurture your flair for the subjective.
House Hunting, with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
Just like the indigenous people of a hundred and seventy-one countries, this duo was kicked out of their home by the British monarchy. No one has moved more in the last couple of years than the Duke and Duchess.
Whether you’re looking for a mansion on Vancouver Island, a cottage in the U.K., or a pullout couch at Tyler Perry’s place, learn how to never compromise your standards and to try new things (and countries) until you find the house that’s right for you.
Flirting, with Ted Bundy
No one is better at disarming straight women than the notorious serial killer, whom we at MasterClass have revived in hologram form.
Learn how to come across as a beta and nab a woman, despite having every single flaw imaginable. Some of this class’s illustrious alumni include Pete Davidson and Ted Cruz!
Being Bipartisan, with the Worst Person You Have Ever Met
Do you find yourself always siding with things like science and reason and logic? Well, no more.
Learn from the Worst Person You’ve Ever Met how to say things like “Well, let’s consider both sides” and “Why do we always talk about bad breath? What about good breath?”
Soon, you’ll be suggesting a compromise between flat-Earthers and the sane. Or debating the legitimacy of vaccines, racism, and gravity!
Scheduling, with Tristan Thompson
Eighty-two N.B.A. games per season is a big commitment! The practice, conditioning, and travel leave almost no room for “you time.”
Yet expert Tristan Thompson has still carved out the hours to have babies with multiple women. Learn about his time-management and prioritization skills, and you, too, can eliminate all distractions (like Khloé) and become a scheduling wizard.
War Tactics, with Older, First-Generation Immigrant Siblings
Want to learn how to strategize against the oppressor? Gain important freedoms and rights? Win battle after verbal battle? Then listen to these veterans who’ve survived the tyrannical regime of Mom and Dad.
From negotiating curfew to advocating for boy-girl sleepovers, they’ve seen it all. With your new skills, you’ll finally be able to convince your parents to get a French bulldog.
Wellness, with your N.S.A. Agent
Who really knows you best? Your family? Your partner? Your best friend? Hardly! It’s the person who’s been spying on you your entire adult life, monitoring your texts, search history, and every social interaction since you discovered A.I.M.
This highly personalized course applies a holistic approach built on your needs, purchase patterns, and LimeWire download history to help you reach your goals, find fulfillment, and cultivate self-love.
